67days before pro exam

salam.
hai friends.
last block my o&g posting. i had  shared about one of my patient right before this. who had infective endocarditis, with collapsing pulse,corregen sign, mitral regurge with aortic regurge. with clubbing and janeway lesion..

sadly, i got this message after end of my posting.

"Bgi sesiapa yg previously OnG or sesape yg mengenali, sumber dari ho through senior, pt..... dah meninggal d/t subacute bact endocarditis, then septic emboli ke brain n cause mycotic aneurysm."

just felt guilty inside.
she had expressed her felling. she felt scared as she was put on intravenous jugular catheter and many people who are not concerned enough told her that her disease become worst as she was on IJC and need to do haemodialysis. she was touched. it was just to give antibiotic intravenously.

i said to her. dont think what other people said. its not like that. she herself knows that it was for antibiotic insertion. for her, she said that if having haemodialysis(kidney disease) is very worst thing and she dont want people to say that.

i know she was having cardiac disease. it involves the main organ of your system. i just dont want to tell her that her disease is a serious case too. so that she will not worried of it. but im gulity inside as i dont even remind her about solat and zikr to Allah. as her situation happened is the opportunity to her to be close to Allah.

Alhamdulillah.
yesterday, i met a makcik with pancreatic cancer with comorbid disease.
she was planned for palliative treatment as she is old and having comorbidity.
she said to me.
"makcik nak balik"
i said "sabar ya makcik, tunggu Dr rawat dulu"
she answered "misi bekeng"  (nurse is strict)
i told her "takpe makcik,kalau misi bekeng makcik makcik buat tak tahu je,jangan ambil hati ya makcik"

she had palpable gallbladder. and even many students and doctors had exmaine her, she still gives us to examine her again. she was very nice.

thinking about her condition, it is pity as she having a cancer plus she is activity daily dependent because of stroke.  i take this opportunity, to say to her.

"makcik, sabar ya..banyak kan zikir dalam hati..ingat Allah selalu  ya makcik.."

that makcik was nice and just nodded

patience who have serious illness are very strong.

they have opportunity get close to Allah.

and alhamdulillah i am  still young, healthy. i just hope that my life ends with husnulkhatimah and kalimah LAILAHA ILLALLAH.
even though you are young and healthy doesn't mean that you live longer than them who are sick.